Keeping yourself un-crazy during the holidays!

That's right - I said 'un-crazy'. Every year, the holidays are bound to make even the most sane, organised person go at least on the verge of crazy. Therefore, the headline needs to at least include the word 'crazy' so that no false promises are made that you won't at least have to enter the realm of crazy first before you come back to the world of 'un-crazy'.

Phew. I think that disconnected first paragraph pretty much proves I'm on the verge myself. A picture to prove it:

I may look like I'm smiling, but there's definitely a hint of 'going to lose it' somewhere back there. I mean, come on - those dorky glasses? The electrocuted hairdo? All signs point to, "get me on an airplane - and now!"

This year, I really thought I had everything planned out perfectly. I timed my work out so that I could finish my projects just in time to jet of to "Asia's Hawaii" - Hainan Island, China, for our annual 'get the hell off the island' Christmas excursion. I ordered my holiday cards on Halloween so that I would give myself ample time to self-address and stamp every lovingly worded piece of correspondence. I arranged for our tenant to move out so that we could start our renovations with loads of time to spare before Dad's big visit next year. If you talked to me in the beginning of November, I would be telling you about my future life as the Martha Stewart of the Time Management world, for crying out loud!

Even Tangie mocks my mountains of 'to-do's' by perching himself atop my freshly-addressed Christmas cards in a stoic pose. Sorry Boris and Christine, Tangie's butt has been on your holiday greeting.

Somewhere between then and now things got a bit blurry. No, dad, I didn't crack the Bailey's open early this year...things just got BUSY. Now I'm sitting amongst piles of curriculum, 30 unwritten holiday cards, tons of boxes, Damien's clutter (okay, and my own too), a burnt out Christmas tree and, to top it all off...there aren't even any presents under the dead tree...thanks for the reminder, dad!

So how do we avoid this seemingly predestined holiday doom?

1. Promise only half of what you normally would.

I know some people who are really amazing - they are able to be unfailingly honest when it comes to accepting or rejecting potential work or social engagements. They can just say 'no' on a consistent basis and not feel that tinge of guilt. Some people get all the luck (or social conditioning?).

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I never got that gift. I will always say 'yes', usually without thinking, and mostly because it is part of some internalised script that will no doubt cost me 1000s of $$ in child regression therapy to remove.

I digress....the holidays are actually the PERFECT time to practise this skill. Since most people are just as busy during this time, it is a good way to kindly turn down invitations and extra work with minimal repercussions. Many times, people will actually be relieved to know that you are rejecting their proposal, as it gives them a chance to clear up their own schedules as well.

2. Priortising for dummies

With all of the distractions happening during this time of year, it is the easiest time to forget what our most important tasks are in the first place. This is the time, if any, to get out a big fat permanent marker, two pieces of A4 paper, and list out the TOP 5 things you MUST COMPLETE during the holiday season. Both personal and professional. Stick these suckers on the back and front of your apartment/house door and you have a reminder right away of what needs to get done.

3. Stop beating yourself up - it's the holidays!

By next Christmas, most (if not all) of those things you were 'urgently supposed to do' this year will not have a long-term impact on the big picture. Do what you can and do it with passion and quality. Those unfinished tasks, unwritten emails and missed events will ultimately fill the cracks of life as small grains of sand disappear into pavement.

Take care of yourself first and the rest will follow!

Happy holidays :)

Treating yourself with the respect you deserve

Well, it is almost the end of 2009 - it is finally hitting me! Looking back, I realise that I have accomplished quite a lot of what I wanted this year (erm, learning Mandarin?). I also realise that another year has passed and there have been a lot of things that I could have done to treat myself better over time.

How often have you told yourself, "just one more hour in the office to get this done" and ended up staying well past that time working? Or have you had a small project you've wanted to finish but put it off and off until you will finally have that 'one free afternoon'?

The truth is, that the more we do, the more to-do's we end up with.

I have definitely learned to treat myself with a lot more respect in 2010 - there were many emails that I wanted to send, letters and cards to write, business ideas to work on and photos to develop in 2009 that I just never got to. When I treat myself better next year, I will surely make more time every day to fit these things in until waiting for 'one free chunk' of time.

I am really learning my lesson now, as I near the two year mark in my current apartment. I have really lived with things these last few years that didn't make me happy - a flimsy couch, shoddy kitchen cabinets that practically beckoned ants to come live inside and a generally disorganised space that I just 'put up with' because I kept thinking I didn't know when I would move out.

Well, it turns out that you never can predict what will happen, and my two years will now turn into three as things settle down at work. It wasn't until today, when we finally unwrapped our brand new couch and sat down on its plump cushions did it sink in that I had been depriving myself out of nothing more than fear - the fear of the unknown in the future; not knowing how long I would stay, but more not knowing where I would be going if I didn't.

Now that the catalyst has begun, I know that finding joy in coming home after a long day of work and having a comfortable place to rest is of a huge value to me. It means I am treating myself with the respect I deserve. Whatever this may embody, be it a physical item, action or thought...these small things add value to our quality of life.

Be able to recognise these things that make you happy - and keep on doing them!